In my 20’s I noticed my first grey hairs. It’s hard to say what I really felt at the time. The social norm was that they were a sign of growing old and something to fear. I don’t recall being in complete freak out at the time, but It was definitely a mild panic. It was somewhat premature, as it is when greys arrive in before the age of 30, they can be associated with low thyroid which is what I now know looking back (I was undiagnosed until I was 30). They have been creeping up on me for some time. A few months ago I was 39 and really noticing that I had a lot of keep up with coloring to blend it all. Over the last few years they have been coming in hot and the societal norms about how we should feel about them influenced my thinking early on. It is sort of a programming that once they start coming in you will need to be coloring them all the time to stay looking young. I never plucked them but would cover them with color. In the recent years they have been growing in number and I started highlighting and going blonde or doing fashion colors. I even did a beautiful all over grey at one point to blend them in but the upkeep is a lot for me. I have so much hair I am so busy, and hate planning a whole day around my hair appointments (Don’t get me wrong, I love my stylist and I love the results, I am just not great at sitting for so long!:).
It wasn’t until I really noticed the anxiety it was causing that I thought for a moment, what if I just allowed it to happen? I noticed that the thought didn’t cause any anxiety. After all, I AM aging and my philosophy around aging is positive. I know, right?! How silly was I being? I don’t know how the two thoughts never crossed. So, a few months ago I was chatting with my hair stylist Emily Chapdelaine at Studio Em in an organic hair salon Nashua about how I actually realized that they grey doesn’t bother me. it is actually the maintenance that was the problem for me. Emily is a wonderful stylist and immediately empowered me to do what is going to make me feel the best. I was covering it every month or so I would have roots that were grey, but the rest would be a different color and that looks like I don’t take care of myself. She came up with an awesome plan that was super low maintenance and will allow my highlights to grow out all the while making my look cohesive so that I look well groomed. So now when I do need to blend everything every couple of months I am out of the chair in half the time!
A couple of weeks ago I turned 40. We have been on this new plan for a couple of months now and I have to say it feels so empowering not to be having to race to keep up with it. I see the greys in the light and have so much love and appreciation for them. I think about how beauty is all about perspective and for me beauty is about health and gratitude. So what I love about this new attitude about my grey hair is that focusing my happiness is what makes me feel beautiful. You can look fantastic and have loads of vibrant radiant energy without running yourself into the ground. I love that letting go or dying to the perception of greys being bad has given me more time in my day, more self-love in my heart and more self-esteem than I had at 20 years old. As a teen, “Sitting” by Cat Stevens was one of my favorite song (so was Egg Man by the Beastie Boys. . . what can I say I am complex!). I didn’t know why exactly but looking back now it all makes sense. “Oh I’m on my way, I know I am
Somewhere not so far from here, All I know is all I feel right now, I feel the power growing in my hair” -Cat Stevens